Welcome To My Private Sanity. Welcome To My Private Sanity.
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I don't know whether I should be completely honest, or just funny.

rupsidaisy:

plucking your eyebrows is legitimately very stressful because you pull out one wrong hair and it’s game over

yungterra:

you can tell a movie is going to be a shitty, forgettable comedy when the font they use for the movie’s title in advertisements looks

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duckktective:

jeez i would love to order that thing online, but i don’t know what size to order it in because women’s clothing sizes are determined by the alignments of the planets in relation to the fuck you galaxy 

londoin:

do you ever get a weird crush on someone that’s not even attractive but you’re just attracted to them and you don’t know why

smokeowls:

SERIOUSLY THOUGH. IF YOUR BOYFRIEND WON’T HANG OUT WITH YOU WHEN YOU’RE ON YOUR PERIOD, HE DOESNT DESERVE TO TOUCH A GIRL EVER. 

jeviernoir:

The real life inspirations for the most famous pinup pictures by Gil Elvgren we all love so much!

barebackbearyak:

Customer: I want a nice chocolate cake for my young son, and he likes trucks, so could you maybe do a little frosting picture of a truck on the top?

Cake Boss: SOS WHAT WES GUNNA DO IS MAKE A GIANT TRUCK ENTIRELY OUTTA RICE CRISPIES AND COVA DAT IN FONDANT AND IZ GUNNA SHOOT SPARKS AND CATCH FIYAH, POSSIBLY KILLIN YOUR SON IN DA PROCESS.

*listening to fob*

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hotboysofficial:

"I have read the Terms and Conditions"image

back-that-sass-up:

spyduck:

rupindah:

i’m all for boys wearing makeup mostly because if more of them got into it there’d be a bigger market and it wouldn’t cost $25 for an eyeshadow primer anymore

i can’t wait to go into the makeup aisle to get the latest man-color of guyshadow that comes in containers shaped like bullets and footballs

"Bruh I just went to sephora and got the sickest shade of eyeshadow"
"Sick dude what’s it called"
"Monster truck gas fumes"
"Niiiiiiiice"

literallytrash:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

you need less jesus

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