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I don't know whether I should be completely honest, or just funny.

londoin:

do you ever get a weird crush on someone that’s not even attractive but you’re just attracted to them and you don’t know why

smokeowls:

SERIOUSLY THOUGH. IF YOUR BOYFRIEND WON’T HANG OUT WITH YOU WHEN YOU’RE ON YOUR PERIOD, HE DOESNT DESERVE TO TOUCH A GIRL EVER. 

jeviernoir:

The real life inspirations for the most famous pinup pictures by Gil Elvgren we all love so much!

barebackbearyak:

Customer: I want a nice chocolate cake for my young son, and he likes trucks, so could you maybe do a little frosting picture of a truck on the top?

Cake Boss: SOS WHAT WES GUNNA DO IS MAKE A GIANT TRUCK ENTIRELY OUTTA RICE CRISPIES AND COVA DAT IN FONDANT AND IZ GUNNA SHOOT SPARKS AND CATCH FIYAH, POSSIBLY KILLIN YOUR SON IN DA PROCESS.

*listening to fob*

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hotboysofficial:

"I have read the Terms and Conditions"image

back-that-sass-up:

spyduck:

rupindah:

i’m all for boys wearing makeup mostly because if more of them got into it there’d be a bigger market and it wouldn’t cost $25 for an eyeshadow primer anymore

i can’t wait to go into the makeup aisle to get the latest man-color of guyshadow that comes in containers shaped like bullets and footballs

"Bruh I just went to sephora and got the sickest shade of eyeshadow"
"Sick dude what’s it called"
"Monster truck gas fumes"
"Niiiiiiiice"

literallytrash:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

you need less jesus

unfollowlng:

seenaill:

unfollowlng:

If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made

my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them

you win

fairytrainer:

fairytrainer:

btw in case yous have slept on this - there is an amazing tv show that exists on this earth called I Wanna Marry Harry where they’ve tricked a group of american girls into thinking they’re on a dating show competing for the heart of Prince Harry and it’s fucking phenomenal 

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elliethecubsinclair:

satanicmingledotcum:

thewalkingdelrey:

i will always find a way out

ohmygod

slowly claps….

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